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Effort and Success (Iron and Steel and Tin)

Effort, call effort the discriminator. Call success, success the delineator. How much work before you're tirin', how much tin and steel and iron? You wanted it easy so you decided on iron first, and you bellied right up to the bar to slake your thirst. You didn't like the way I looked at you and then my drink, so you shot me dead and you wound up in the clink. Effort, call effort the discriminator. Call success, success the delineator. How much work for to seal the deal, how much iron and tin and steel? You found it a little hard when steel came next, a new kind of bar behind your original pretext. You didn't like the nuisance of penitentiary life, so no one cried when your ribs caught a knife. Effort, call effort the discriminator. Call success, success the delineator. How much work do you want to put in, how much iron and steel and tin? You looked around when you felt the thin tin blade, and your eyelids shuttered like a curtain shade. You didn't like the prospect of seeing your own blood, so you pitched over neatly into penitentiary mud (and I watched you pitch over into penitentiary mud). Effort, call effort the discriminator. Call success, success the delineator. How much iron, steel, tin and such, oh how much, how much, how much?

(written while watching Mia and Jonah on Dec. 16th at Prism Cafe; demoed on New Year's Eve with help from Gori Do, GarageBand, an M-Audio Keystation 61es, a Logitech USB headset and a fortuitous passing police-car siren)
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“What we’re trying to do is to tell them how to do it in the nicest possible manner.”

[…] The one-night-stand (ONS) is a bit like fast food: tempting, but with nauseating afterthoughts.

Make health and safety a priority. Always try to invite him back to
yours, but if you insist on playing away, text a friend to inform them
of your whereabouts.

Avoid dark-alley gropery, and unladylike fumbling in the back of a
cab. Once home, leave him to select a CD from your collection while you
embark on a turbo-tidy.

In the bedroom, forget about your normal night-time routine and
leave pyjamas in their drawer. Discuss the necessaries to avoid
planting any love children or disease, and you're away.

If you're at his, the ONS isn't over until the following morning's "walk of shame" home in last night's outfit.

Steel yourself and hold your head up high.

At yours, offer him breakfast and (assuming you want no more of him) say that your mother is on her way round. […]

That's from Guy Adams' Independent UK article "Girls' guide to a one-night stand" on an updated Debrett's etiquette guide.