How To Talk To Girls At Parties (demo)

Am9 Fmaj7 Dm9
Don't start a rumor
Don't listen to talk around town
Show good humor
And act up when life looks down

Dm9 Em9 arpeg
Me, I never built my world around them
Not that my reserve remained unspent
Gave me something beautiful to long for
Gave me something to learn to repent
I never built my world around them
Not that my caution spared me pain
Gave me a cushion for my landing
Gave me some kind of understanding

Amaj9 Amaj9/F# Fmaj7 E/D
We're just boys
We're not from another planet, are we?
So let's go be hearty
I'll teach you how to talk to girls at parties

Dm9 Em9 arpeg
You, you never made it look that easy
To open up the lines of communication
Sending out a hailing frequency signal
Flawlessly field a shore-leave situation
You never made it look that easy
To get that it was way beyond me, chum
Getting me sum was more than addition
Getting down the ins and out of tradition

Amaj9 Amaj9/F# Fmaj7 E/D
We're just boys
We're not from another planet, are we?
So let's go be hearty
I'll teach you how to talk to girls at parties

Am9 Fmaj7 Dm9
Don't start a rumor
Don't listen to talk around town
Show good humor
And act up when life looks down

How to Talk to Girls at Parties (1/4)
How to Talk to Girls at Parties (2/4)
How to Talk to Girls at Parties (3/4)
How to Talk to Girls at Parties (4/4)

(inspired by the Hugo-nominated, Locus Award-winning Neil Gaiman story (BoingBoing free audio, Metafilter thread ))

“What we’re trying to do is to tell them how to do it in the nicest possible manner.”

[…] The one-night-stand (ONS) is a bit like fast food: tempting, but with nauseating afterthoughts.

Make health and safety a priority. Always try to invite him back to
yours, but if you insist on playing away, text a friend to inform them
of your whereabouts.

Avoid dark-alley gropery, and unladylike fumbling in the back of a
cab. Once home, leave him to select a CD from your collection while you
embark on a turbo-tidy.

In the bedroom, forget about your normal night-time routine and
leave pyjamas in their drawer. Discuss the necessaries to avoid
planting any love children or disease, and you're away.

If you're at his, the ONS isn't over until the following morning's "walk of shame" home in last night's outfit.

Steel yourself and hold your head up high.

At yours, offer him breakfast and (assuming you want no more of him) say that your mother is on her way round. […]

That's from Guy Adams' Independent UK article "Girls' guide to a one-night stand" on an updated Debrett's etiquette guide.