How to head home

image

I still feel like I’m testing things out, but vaguely optimistically and less with the panic and desire to burn things down. Some of it comes from acceptance of certain things, like how long some things take to fully fall apart, how long other people take to come to their own perspectives on reality and options, and how rewarding it is to act on even small things like a tiny, timely joke before a receptive audience and to see returns in the way of positive feedback.

About what changed

 

imageFive years ago, I apparently wrote text for an about page and promptly about it. What’s the only thing that matters less this year than a blog?

In that text, I linked to my name site because I had it, and I thought it might make sense to put a portfolio there or a business card-plus-other stuff. What’s in a name? These days I get up and clear out sp*m from whoever creates fake emails for the express purpose of scamming bank accounts, rewards points programs and looks-like-a-mailing-list no-way-to-opt-out clickbait. These are the perils of a common name, and privileges of having had that name for a little while.

In that text, I called myself a journalist. These days, I say reporter. What’s shorter than that? Writer? Hack? 📰📲?
I know it’s about five years old because my job title was different then, and because the masthead went away two weeks ago. I’d express sororities that the company name hasn’t changed, but why tempt those who handle these things?

In that text, I made sure to link to the Wayback Machine’s version of my site which was a good idea then and is still good now. Then I followed that with a list of interests: “culture, technology, race and ethnicity, cities, journalism, media, power and aesthetics.” But they’re just words and they don’t reveal how I feel about these things, where I think they’re going, who and what matters to me. I think I figured I could fill in the blanks with tag clouds and folksonomy stuff, but now there are algorithms for that.

In that text, I wrote around the choir I was in, the one that everybody slowly turned out the lights on. Nowadays, when I sing other people’s songs in public, it’s a nice blend of gigs, busking, rehearsals and karaoke, with the occasional themed DJ night.

In that text, I said I was a fan. Now there are now more useful tools and spaces and things happen faster, and the words have improved, if not the people.

In that text, there was an email widget and a spelled-out version of my address and the likelihood that If be on Twitter or some other network/platform. I guess one out of three isn’t that bad.

The recombinant city

image

All starts are false, just as all identities are mistaken. Writing this post means re-writing the “Hello world!” default post in a fresh WordPress one-click install on my host (still Dreamhost after all these years). Choosing to write it at all, in the spring of 2016, is silly. Just the same, here I am.

I thought, sitting in the living room and finishing the evening’s second can of beer, that If get up and look for my paperback copy of Brian Eno’s “A Year With Swollen Appendices” for some hint or suggestion about how best to spell out the basics: most online bios still have me calling myself, among a few other roles, a blogger; most of the people I used to read who called themselves that have moved on to other titles or responsibilities or platforms; most of what might matter to me is less wieldy and share-friendly than it used to be. Things done changed, yo.

Instead of Eno, Samuel Delany’s “Dhalgren” caught my eye and, remembering William Gibson’s 1993 foreword “The Recombinant City,” I picked it up off the nearest of our groaning bookshelves and ran my eyes over it. I’ve never finished it and I have a few things to finish reading this month already (including Cixin Liu’s latest couple of books, so I can talk about them with A. at least), but I might have new motives, what with the ongoing/upcoming/oncoming Bellona Times-ization of the local masthead, and the company that distributes it.

Oakland is not an autumnal city (not even in April), but it is wounded. No amount of happy talk from elected figures or corporate communiqués can conceal it. Band-Aids don’t fix bullet holes, T.S. elegantly said, and she’s still right. Living here, then, means figuring out what works: keeping up with flows of information and filtering for utility, amusement, and for others’ benefit, not just one’s own. It means experimenting. I should try that here as well, whether or not I decide to import all the posts I wrote and the un(der)written drafts, or decide to rely on my just-renewed Flickr Pro membership when its parent company may sell it down the river before midyear, or decide to upgrade my still functional phone for something slightly faster and perhaps more easily secured (or compromised).

The other thing the foreword reminded me of, of course, was the difference between Gibson’s descriptions of the city and America, and how the city he knew, just as the one I used to blog in and about not longer exists, but instead blended together in some eerie and uncanny biological process. Well, it me. So let’s see.