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bell hooks on talking about sex: … This essay, “Unnatural Acts,” is what’s linked to her name over at Gynomite’s links (via randomwalks)

To talk about sex now is to be seen as bringing up a subject that really isn’t that important, since it has been assumed (mind you, wrongly so) that we are all capable of talking sex whenever we need to. Ironically, despite the fact that visual images of sex are everywhere in popular culture, not much has changed when it comes to the visualization of sexual acts or the talking that takes place before, during and after. It is still represented as easy, natural. Everybody knows what to do, there is no need for discussion.

Nowadays, if you are a woman who talks about sex (especially a single woman), you are most likely perceived as speaking out of desperation. In lieu of getting any, you are talking about it. Or worse yet, saying anything about sex will be seen by any man in the conversation as a come-on. Naturally, I know of what I speak, as I am always trying to bring a little sex into the conversation. I have had to fend off tired misogynist men who have obviously been holding on to those little lessons about sex they learned in Pornography 101: a) if she talks about it she wants it; b) if she talks about it she’s being a cock tease; and c) if she keeps talking about it when you are uncomfortable then you can always silence her with a dose of good old-fashioned harassment. Gosh, even Madonna has put aside her passion for talking sex to gush about motherhood. It’s all about gaining cultural approval.

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