Ben Brown, Ben Brown: … you’re in the same hell as me, so grab a chair and sit down.

I call Bank Of America customer service.

– Hi. I have a problem with my card. It’s not working.

“That’s because you had it canceled yesterday.”

– No, I most certainly didn’t.

“It says right here that you did.”

– No, I ordered a secondary card.

“Sir, when you order a replacement card, they cancel your current card.”

– Did I say replacement? No, I said secondary. I was very clear. The nice lady told me that it would have the same pin number. She then told me my current card would continue to function. I was very, very clear. Please turn my card back on.

“We can’t. It’s been flushed from our system.”

– Flushed?

“Flushed.”

– Well, can you authorize a payment on my new card then? I need to pay for my
lunch, and this is causing me a lot of stress.

“No sir. You’ll have to wait until your new card arrives. In seven to ten days.”

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